Some may find this odd (or disturbing) but I do not
trust a person who claims to be 100% truthful all the time (that is the biggest
lie of all). We lie to deceive, we lie to impress, we lie to protect –
ourselves and others. Some lies are harmless enough – when you tell a
three-year old that their drawings are beautiful, your lie gives them
confidence – and when, as in this case, the lie is used for unselfish reasons
and harms no one, I can live with it. Most lies though, are dangerous,
especially when they are borne from selfishness (as most lies are).
But the most dangerous…
The people we lie to the
most are ourselves.
As humans, we all have opinions about each other,
and it is a very human trait to want to be in control of what others think of
us.
I read a post by a young author today, and he said
something in particular reference to writers, but it is the paradox that applies
to everyone: we all yearn to belong, and to be accepted, but we also want to
stand out and be unique. And we end up lying to others and to ourselves to try
and fulfil these needs.
But we are only in control of what we think of
ourselves, of what resides between our ears and within our chests. And it may
sound simple and easy, but the hardest thing a person can ever do, is to throw
off the many layers of self-deception and stand, naked, in front of the
proverbial mirror.
I’ve had to own up to a few
lies I’ve told myself, about myself, about my life and the people in it. I’ve
had to realise that these lies have had a very adverse effect on my personal
growth and interpersonal relationships.
It takes more strength to show your vulnerability
than to hide it. Loyalty is not a given with family. Being strong does not mean
never asking for help. Friendships and relationships that are one-sided rarely
cease to be so. I am never going to be skinny (I will always be curvy and soft,
and that’s just another form of beauty).
Once I found the courage to admit certain truths, I opened
myself up to a much better quality of life…I’ve weeded out the parasites in my
life and transferred that energy into nurturing the people, thoughts and things
that are good for me.
Don’t get me wrong – I still tell myself untruths
(or rather, I still cannot admit certain truths to myself) – I am human, and
very imperfect.
I
am on a journey though, standing in front of the mirror, peeling back one layer
at a time. And with each piece of self-deception I manage to discard, I continue to discover new depths to
my potential.
💖
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