Intimacy

Intimacy is not limited to relationships of a romantic nature, nor is it automatic and natural in romantic or familial relationships. It can take years to build with some, an instant to form with others.

The first thought that pops into my head upon hearing the word 'intimacy' is 'physical'...being comfortable enough to let another person discover your flaws and being confident that despite those flaws, they'd still want to discover your perfections.

Two senses I associate with intimacy (and which are heightened) are smell and touch.

I think one can only be truly intimate with someone if there is a mutual attraction on a chemical level, which has nothing and everything to do with physical appearance. Nothing, because it does not solely rely on aesthetics; and everything, because without a physical attraction to a person, intimacy will be impossible...and attraction itself is subjective, what appeals to one may not to the other.

But, what truly takes intimacy to its peak is a mutual attraction for the qualities that are unseen-a mental and emotional intimacy. Being able to communicate, cause a reaction or inspire a feeling through non-verbal and non-tacit means...be it a single look or a thoughtful gesture...

Dearest Tom

Dearest Tom

I'm sure that at some point in your life, you've had an insane, irrational crush on some celebrity.
Insane and irrational are exactly what my feelings are concerning you.

For starters, we have never met nor do I entertain any ideas or hopes that we ever will.
I admit, I do have fantasies...I've written a book in my head of meetings between the two of us (don't worry, they are mostly inspired by your roles as Henry V and William Buxton...and of course, you, as the gentleman that you are).
But despite my fantasies, I take comfort in the fact that we will never meet...
I fear I'd be so overwhelmed by you that I'd forget that I was Muslim and do something that I'm really not supposed to.
Whenever I see you in a movie, or a picture, when I hear you speak (more especially in a low voice, or whisper), everything between my navel and hipbone clenches, and it feels as though a million butterflies are dancing an Argentine Tango in my belly...my signal, for when I'm attracted to a man physically.
Whenever I hear you laugh, really laugh, in your interviews...is it possible that someone's laugh can affect a person's heart rate??

However, what attracts me most to you is your mind, and heart (from what I can see), your kindness and your ability to laugh at yourself and not take your celebrity status seriously (your velociraptor and Zach Levi impressions from the Nerd HQ conversation never fail to make me laugh). I love the fact that you're so well read (and that you love to read). I admire the work you do with UNICEF. My heart swells when I see or read of your kindness to your fellow actors and especially your fans.

I am soo envious of the woman who manages to capture your heart one day.
I have this feeling...I know...you will cherish her (and I fervently hope that she will cherish you...not Loki or Hal or Magnus or any of your characters...you).

Maybe, at 31, I am too old for fangirling or 'hero-worship' as my sister tells me.
However, a girl is allowed to have dreams...and until my own Henry/William Buxton comes along, you will feature in mine for a long time...