the end of something wonderful

I sit at my computer with a heavy heart this morning.
This evening will be the last lecture of my Journalist course before our exams next week.

The last four and a half months have been...I actually have no words to appropriately describe it.

Even after a long day at work, I looked forward to every class.
And it saddens me greatly that it is coming to an end.


I have met some amazing people.They have each left a lasting impression on me and collectively they have been responsible for a large part of my personal growth, as a professional, as a human being. But some of them have left a bigger impression, and it is to those that I dedicate my post today...

To Jean...'thanks' would be grossly insufficient to express the gratitude I feel for what you have unlocked in me the last four months. I thought I had a skill...you made me realise that it really is there and have shown me how to use it. May God give you the health and strength to continue to do for others what you have done for me...

To Alan...I've never been on a roller coaster, but I imagine it feels a lot like being lectured by you :)) and whether or not your complimentary remarks to me were honest or not (although I feel that they were) they have boosted by confidence and validated my abilities. Thank you.

To Gino...it took a while but you opened up. I missed you the times you were not in class because you bring a unique dimension to our classroom dynamic. Your mind is as fertile as the banks of the Nile, and your take on things are...uniquely yours :) Continue to pick up skills and improve...you have a great deal to offer the world through the written word. And I am flattered that you trust me to read what you've written :)

Finally, to Leonore and Caron
I am a firm believer that the Almighty sends certain people to you at certain times for specific reasons. I have begun to feel...undervalued and unappreciated in certain areas of my life. And the two of you have made me feel...special. You've made me see that I have things to offer the world that only I can. You've given me a hearing when I couldn't speak about things to anyone else....
And once again, 'thank you' hardly seems enough. I hope we will continue to be in each other's lives and that I may, in some way, be there for you as you have been for me.

Good and Bad deeds for the week

A dear friend was telling me that she had started writing again.
Of course, in my head and heart, I was doing Olympic level gymnastics at hearing this news. I have come to find that writing is very cathartic and sometimes putting a thought onto paper helps one greatly to deal with it.

She was telling me that she was trying to write everyday...and if nothing terribly exciting happened on a given day, she would simply pen her good deed and pen apologies for any bad deeds. It got me thinking...what a brilliant idea for any person to do! It will definitely make one conscious of one's behaviour towards others.

So...thus far my good deed for the week - helping a friend with some homework.
Bad deed - swearing at my children because they pushed me to my limit.

Must attempt to hold my tongue today, and try alternative methods of discipline.

Rejection

re·ject

  [v. ri-jekt; n. ree-jekt]

verb (used with object)

1.

to refuse to have, take, recognize, etc.: to reject the offer of a better job.

2.

to refuse to grant (a request, demand, etc.).

3.

to refuse to accept (someone or something); rebuff: The other children rejected him. The publisherrejected the author's latest novel.

4.

to discard as useless or unsatisfactory: The mind rejects painful memories.

5.

to cast out or eject; vomit.

Rejection is one of the most painful things a person can experience.

I have had many rejections and while I do not consider myself an expert on this matter, I do have a lot of experience with it.

Rejection can be divided into two main categories.

1. Direct/Open rejection. You are directly informed that someone has refused to grant you something, recognize or accept something. Most commonly experienced when applying for jobs, to schools, when you're a teenager and it comes to friends, etc. Stings like hell, when it happens. But, surprisingly, one tends to recover quickly from this kind of letdown.

2. Apathy/Aloofness/Indifference. Most commonly experienced with matters of the heart. In my humble opinion, this kind of rejection is the worst, as it takes an unnecessarily long time to recover from. Sometimes, you just don't recover from it.

I wish that people would learn to be direct. Directness is considered one of my many flaws, but I consider it to be one of my better qualities. I am learning the art of tact, but I still am honest with the people around me.

It is better to let someone know where they stand, rather than to let them wonder...