A-Z Blogger Challenge 2016 - Death

I rather enjoyed participating in the A-Z challenge of last year, and decided that I would try and do one every year (for as long as the Almighty spares me, and preserves my mind and ability to write). However, I’ve decided to go about it in a different manner – instead of posting everything within a month and alphabetically, I will post a few a week, according to the themes present at the time…here we go...

I’ve lost two really good people so far this year.

The first was the Grandmother of one of my best friends. This lady treated me as one of her own, even though I didn’t see her much. I was always greeted with, “How are you, my child?” and she always inquired (kindly) whether I had an outjie (Afrikaans for 'boyfriend' - and was always lamenting on how stupid men were not to snatch me up). She was a strong woman, very feisty, but she was always proud of our achievements and of the kind of people we were. You always felt good about yourself when you were in her company, and I received more love, warmth and encouragement from her in the thirteen years I’ve known her, than I ever have from my own grandmother, whom I’ve known my whole life. My only regret is that I did not get to visit her while she was ill. Thankfully, I made it to her funeral and got to say my goodbye, and was able to be there for my friend and her family, even though it may have been only emotional and moral support.

The second person was my cousin. She was in her late sixties, only a few years younger than my mother (her mother is one of my mother’s older sisters), and lost a very short battle against terminal lung cancer. She is in almost every happy memory I have – she has been there for all of my siblings’ weddings (she was like a second mother to us), she helped everyone who needed it, even when she barely had enough for herself. She was very candid, stubborn, and sometimes a bit abrasive, but her heart was so big, and had room for everyone. She was always up for a laugh (had a droll sense of humour), but she was very principled and never condoned or covered up for injustice.

She went down fast during the last four weeks, and I think she held on just to see her baby get married a week and a half ago.

The past month, despite all of the difficulty, was amazing. We were all able to help her and her children make a wedding happen. When we went to visit her a few days ago, she could barely talk, and when I greeted her, she was half asleep. We sat at her bedside for a few minutes, reciting prayers, as she drifted in and out of consciousness, and during one of her lucid moments, she heard my voice. Even in her weakened, pained state, she turned and murmured my name with a smile. 
We helped where we could...and were able to be there for her as she always was for us.

Through her illness, her son’s wedding and her funeral, she managed to bring together our family. Family we have not seen or spoken to years. She made us re-evaluate our priorities, made us realise the stupidity of holding onto grudges and the importance of family, and brought out the best in us all. Her illness, and even her death, bonded our family.

Death is never easy, especially for those the deceased leave behind. But although I am sad at the loss of these two amazing ladies, I am grateful for what they have brought to my life and for the legacies they left me with...and the many lessons I've learnt from their deaths....