The Idea of the perfect one

I am of the belief that two people (as in a man and woman) cannot claim to love each other, really love each other, unless they are married and have lived with each other, faults, shortcomings, weird quirks and all. After all, if you can accept and live with someone else's weirdness and still manage to see what is good and beautiful in that person, then I would most certainly believe you when you say that you truly love him/her.

But.
What is it about people that attracts others in the first place?

I find myself in a situation where I can answer the above question with this: It is the IDEA of someone or something involving that someone.

Someone very close to me, indeed someone I look up to as a parent figure, suggested a person that they felt would be perfect for me. This was a few months ago and now I find myself so attracted to the idea of this person...it makes my heart actually quicken when I think of him.

The problem, however, is that we are not in control of what we want to happen...

Health Benefits of Fasting

We are on our seventh day of fasting. Gosh, a person is so busy during the day, the time literally flew past. But as I said in my previous post, there is so much blessing in one's time, you can accomplish so much (its amazing how much time we spend on eating!).

Here in South Africa, it's winter for us now, which means that we fast a very short day (less than 12 hours).
For me personally, to go without food or drink is not a problem, but the cold is quite debilitating some times (we are experiencing the coldest winter ever). But as a result of going without food, the stomach shrinks and I've actually found that as we go on, we tend to eat less (and less of the junk as well).

I've noticed some things the past two days though, which just proves that there are definite health benefits to fasting...

1. I don't feel bloated...and this I think is directly linked to the fact that I've been eating a lot less bread, which has prompted me to embark on a wheat free diet...much less cakes, pastries, savouries (coz let's be honest, there is no way that I am going to completely give these things up) and also switching from regular bread to rye and other wheat free types.

2. Eating dates (which is a natural sugar source) kills the cravings for chocolates and other sweet things.

3. Increased consumption of soup makes sure I get in alotta veggies.

4. My eyes are a lot clearer and the irises are brighter (even though mine are just brown, they twinkle in the fast).

5. My skin looks super clean.

6. Increased recitation and listening to the Qur'an keeps the blood pressure down.

So yeah, definite health benefits, not just from a physical perspective but a mental and spiritual one as well.

Ramadaan

And so we come to the end of the first week back at school after our winter break.
It's been okay...lots of work (at work and at home).

Tonight is the first Tarawih salah. For those of you who do not know what it is, Tarawih is a voluntary prayer that Muslims perform which is unique to the month of Ramadaan. During the month, the intention is to complete the recitation of the entire Qur'an in the 30 nights. I actually want to go to mosque tonight because we are starting the recitation tonight and the second surah (pronounced soo-rah, and meaning Chapter) is my favourite.

I was thinking again back on how a person's perception of and attitude towards fasting changes over time.
When you are a child, fasting for the first time, all you are worried about is how you are going to manage without food for most of the day. You are excited when it's time to break your fast in the evenings, and you are excited to go shopping for Eid clothes, and just generally excited when the month draws to a close. This phase lasts for quite some time (well into your teens and twenties).

For me personally, this phase ended about 5 years ago.
I was at an institution, doing religious studies, and our lecturers made us see the beauty and benefits of the month. And once you become aware of it, you start to notice other things.

I am a generally pleasant person. But I become downright hyper-happy during this month. It's magical...the atmosphere is just different in Ramadaan. It's as if you can literally taste and feel Allah's love and mercy, and it makes you want to emulate that with whomever you meet or whomever you are with.

Also, its as if the day suddenly has 30 hours in it, instead of 24. There is so much blessing in one's time...and despite the fact that I am without food, I find that I have so much more energy and can get so much more done.

At the beginning of the month, Muslims wish each other by saying "Ramadaan Karim". The word "karim" in Arabic translates as "generous"...and this is very appropriate, as Allah's mercy, love, generosity and blessings is amplified in Ramadaan, to such an extent that our capacity to show mercy and love, and to be generous, is amplified as well.

To all the Muslims reading this post, Ramadaan Karim to you all and to your families. May this month be for you a beneficial one, may the Almighty accept all your good deeds and sincere repentence and may He answer all your prayers, In sha Allah.

Time

Does any one else feel that time is moving way to quickly?

I opened my eyes on Monday morning, and was thinking, "Here we go, another week."
I blinked, and it's Friday.

And it made me wonder...am I doing beneficial things with my time? Sometimes I think not. Especially those times when I'm laying on my bed watching a movie, or sitting in the courtyard at school during a free period talking nonsense to my colleagues.

A few years ago, I only thought of doing things that would ensure my own happiness.
And while that is important, nowadays I find myself hoping to leave this world with a little assurance that I made a positive and beneficial contribution to the people around me (and by extension, my community and the world at large).

update on 2012 so far

It's only the end of February and I feel as though I've done enough for it to be June already.

I've been put back into a classroom (formally, as in subject teaching) as of this year. I was a bit apprehensive at first, but am getting back into the swing of it one day at a time. The first term of the year is always a killer...we've had registration, athletics, excursions...and there's still 4 weeks of the term left!

Things have been eventful on the personal side of things as well. I've had to deal with a sick parent (not fun, and very stressful - I cannot imagine how they must feel when one of us is ill), nephews venturing off into the world alone, a niece that has just started university and her over-protective father freaking out a bit...some male attention (and for those of you who know me personally, imagine a HUGE eye-roll here) and theft.

So, quite an eventful and busy 2012 so far.

Two things have been glaringly apparent (and appalling) to me throughout the 2 months that have passed.
1. People are becoming less and less concerned about integrity and professionalism in the work place. I know things are no longer black and white - things get complicated so quickly these days - but why should we not strive to have a simplistic view of things? I know that in my own life, where I can, I have adopted that philosophy and as a result, have eliminated unnecessary stress. Do your job, to the best of your ability. Ask if you do not know, say NO when you cannot and more importantly, if you fuck up, take your punishment like a grown up. And. LEAVE YOUR PERSONAL SHIT AT HOME.

2. I am very disturbed at how easily people can talk bad about people who are religious. Come on people, really? We are supposed to be progressing but we're worse than cave people. A prostitute can go about her trade, homosexuals are accepted in society and are even allowed to get married, but if someone wants to (of their own free will) follow their religion without it being a hindrance to anyone, that is a problem. To believe in God is something people actually find stupid. I am completely appalled.
More disturbing than that for me though, is how Muslim people are just neglecting essential things in their lives with regards to Islam. Why do you look down and ridicule girls who dress properly and pray regularly? Why do you find dating and courting to be acceptable? I understand that we are a minority in the world...but we will always be. And while we as Muslims may not be perfect, Islam is. And we should strive to practice it as perfectly as we are able.

Start of 2012

I started work on 9 January this year.
I didn't really have much of a holiday, and it was further dampened by my sister and I being involved in a car accident just before Christmas weekend.


My first day of work was really great actually. I sat on the bus on my way to work that morning, and just watched people go about their business, and I was just grateful to be alive, and healthy, and able to work.
What pleased me more though, is that during these last two weeks, I've seen these random acts of kindness...
and that's what has been most inspirational and heart-warming. I've also been on the receiving end of some of these acts, and my only resolution this year is to pass them on.


We're into our third week. Things have picked up and today I will find myself in a classroom again for the first time since 2006. I'm a little nervous but also very excited.

not a smooth criminal

The past two weeks have been ones of discovery for me.

I have discovered that I am a magnet for unavailable and inappropriate men...and that I do not handle male attention as well as I thought.

The two types of male attention I received are as follows:
1. Inappropriate: 24 years old (I am almost 29), very poorly educated, can't seem to hold down a steady job....but most inappropriate, recently fathered a child out of wedlock. This all adds to the fact that I do not find this individual attractive at all.

2. Also 24 (I feel like a damn cougar) but more responsible than no. 1 above...has a steady job, very gentlemanly manners, loves his family, no kids...and SMOKING HOT.
Unfortunately, we are of different religions, and this definitely makes him unavailable to me (or me to him, as is the case, as he asked if he could as me out).

I handled no.1 pretty well - just keep him at a very safe distance.

No. 2 - I completely freaked out when he indicated that he was interested.

So...not as smooth as I thought I was

MY OPINION OF “GARETH CLIFF ON EVERYTHING”

For all the non-South African people who are reading this post, Gareth Cliff is a radio and television personality here in South Africa. I think the two things he is most famous (or infamous-depending on whether you like him or not) for is being labelled a “shock-jock” on 5fm and for being a judge on SA Idols.

Gareth wrote a book – which was published a few weeks ago – and the content basically is made up of his opinions on everything (hence the title).

I bought the book a week ago and tweeted this information to Gareth – to which he responded, “...let me know what you think.”

I have just finished reading it.

And I dedicate today’s post (my opinions on your book) to you, G.

First off, let me say, reading it was how I would imagine having an actual conversation with you. I have heard you talk on radio and TV...and you write exactly the way you talk. I love it when authors employ that kind of use of the English language, and so it made reading the book an enjoyable experience.

Your jokes are not always below the belt, and the humour with regards to political matters never fail to make me laugh (it was also, in some instances, educational for me, as I am one of those people who don’t like to watch the news, so my political knowledge is sometimes below very basic). Ek lag my vrek as ek jou Afrikaanse woorde lees.

The best joke in the book: without a doubt the one about Nigella Lawson. You printed what I’ve been thinking ever since we got DSTV.

There are quite a number of things that I whole-heartedly agree with.

1.      Status of Education in South Africa and also people’s attitude towards it. I am a teacher myself – an informal one who plans on getting her teaching credentials as of next year (I actually studied Accounting but never went into corporate, got a job in a school instead). It saddens me to say that I have often been ridiculed by older teachers for my enthusiasm and effort to give extra help to those children who need it. Those types of people should get out of the profession and make way for people who want to be there.

2.      Government wasting money on crap like re-naming stuff and having an opening for Parliament (I didn’t know politicians also get holidays).

3.      Too many bosses and not enough people who work – I feel like that every day. I hate being in charge. Too much of a head ache and stress.

4.      And I absolutely LOATHE people who can’t be happy for others – it will cost you nothing to celebrate and applaud (sincerely) the success and happiness of others.

I will probably have to re-read the book a few more times to fully digest everything (which I will do).

To end off, I would like to...give my opinion on two matters:

1.      I know your stance on religion. And more than that, I will not judge you or disrespect you because we do not have the same opinion on it.

      I will tell you this (and this is from my religious education and from my upbringing): do not judge an entire religion based on the few crazies that are propagated by the media. There are many people who do despicable things in the name of religion. And if I can clear up a few misconceptions, I hope that it will help make you a little more tolerant of us who follow a religion (in my case, Islam):

We are not allowed to force people to believe as we do – but we are instructed to spread our message and way of life – mostly by being living examples of it.

2.      A Muslim woman is instructed to cover her body when she reaches puberty-the only things that should be shown are her hands and face. I did not do that when I became a young lady – not that I dressed like a harlot either, but I hated wearing a scarf. I still don’t like wearing a scarf, but I do it because I want to follow my religion as it has been prescribed for me and I understand why certain things have been prescribed. I cover my body because it should be for my future husband’s eyes alone (which is not a bad thing). I cover my body because I don’t want to be leered at or worse (you know how many sickos there are in this world).

And contrary to what has been portrayed, Muslim women are not oppressed. We can have careers and prosper, as long as we observe our prayers and other tenets, dress modestly and treat others properly.

By the way, the burqah is just one way of covering ourselves and is mostly worn by the Middle Eastern women (cultural dress). As long as a Muslim woman's dress doesn't reveal her body, she may wear what she likes :))

I was really happy to discover that we share a lot of similar ideas...especially when it comes to just being human, and trying to be a good human being. This book has actually shown that your heart is bigger than your mouth :)

Thank you for the entertainment (and in some instances, enlightenment). 

Congratulations on your success!

Ignorance is not bliss

I have become quite a fan of Twitter.
A lot of the people I follow, do not know me in person (in fact, only about 10 of the 34 actually do).
But most of them I follow because they have quirky and hilarious things to say (I like to laugh).
And I think it's a better forum for people to just...say what they're thinking.

This past week, I acquired a new follower. To my immense surprise, it is a radio DJ who is famous (or infamous?) for giving his opinions in a very straightforward manner.
Do I always agree with him? Not at all. Do I think that he needs to find out more about certain things? Definitely, yes-but we are all learning new things every day.
But what I like his honesty-and in today's society where honesty is a rare commodity, it is refreshing for me to see a 'celebrity' who isn't afraid to rock the boat.

But I'm beginning to digress.
So, this person started off by posting some of my tweets to his followers (for those of you who do not use Twitter, this is called re-tweeting) and 2 comments from 2 other individuals just irritated me this week...

Comment 1 (to me directly): Why am I, a 'decent, burka wearing Muslim female' on Twitter?
Comment 2 (to this DJ): Why is he retweeting tweets from someone wearing hijab (proper dress for Muslim women)?

I would like educate those of you who DON'T know on certain things regarding the dress of a Muslim woman.

1. According to the Qur'an and Hadith (sayings of our Prophet Muhammad S.A.W.) a woman is required to cover herself when she reaches puberty. The only parts of her body that is allowed to be visible are her face and hands.

2. Women who cover themselves completely (face and hands included) do so because of their CULTURE (and this is not necessarily a bad thing) and they do so BY CHOICE.

Why is it, that when a nun covers herself because of her religious vows, she is looked up to and admired because she is devoting herself to God, but when a Muslim woman does exactly the same thing, she is called oppressed?

Why is it that a Rastafarian can smoke weed because it is part of their religion/culture (bearing in mind what the effect of this 'cultural practice' is)-but when a woman covers herself to protect herself from the stares of other men and to reserve her beauty for her husband, her culture is backward.

Really people, before you express an opinion about something of which you have no knowledge, go and do your homework.

Ignorance is not bliss.

Ramadaan

We’re halfway through Ramadaan.

When you first start fasting as a child, the only thing that you really feel is the fact that you cannot eat or drink from sunrise to sunset for 29 or 30 consecutive days.

As you grow older, other things regarding this month become more evident. You are required to check your mood and temper more, the amount of time that you save not eating and drinking (it’s amazing how much time we spend on that!) should be used to increase your acts of worship – more prayer, more recitation of the Qur’an, more remembrance of God.

I have to say, my appreciation and understanding of what this month really should be for a Muslim has only come to me in recent years. And even though I have a better understanding of what is required of me, I will admit that there are times where it can be a struggle. But I suppose that all true sacrifices should be a struggle.

This year, someone pointed out to me that Ramadaan is also a month that strips you of your pretentions, and that the realities of one’s life become much clearer.

I have discovered that to be very true. There are things in my life that I knew were there, but refused to accept, and I have been forced to acknowledge and accept that these things exist and that my life is not exactly what I want it to be.

My dilemma right now is this: how do tell the difference between what I can change and what I have to accept?