T is for Twilight

For those of you rolling your eyes, I am referring to the books, and not the film adaptation (which, despite the fact that the books are way better, wasn't too bad either - don't pretend you didn't watch it and that you didn't like it).

I was introduced to Twilight through the film. A good friend of mine allowed me to gatecrash her cousins' movie date and I was pleasantly surprised at the film - vampires, romance, hot guys; all my favourite things in one film, and I left the cinema quite happy to be in love with Edward Cullen.

Anxious to know how the rest of the story unfolds, I went and bought myself the books.

Life is so serious and sad, and for my sanity, I escape into the worlds of movies and books. I have my preferences when it comes to my entertainment, but I have only one rule: the less of reality in it, the better. I wish I could read the Twilight series for the first time again, because it would be so amazing to experience those emotions all over again. 

Not only am I drawn by the romance (and not just of the lead characters, more so, in fact, of all the peripheral couples), but by the way Stephenie Meyer has managed to show us this dream world. She is, in my humble opinion, brilliant at her craft.

I read all the books a week (I spent a whole day in pajamas reading Breaking Dawn and finished in less than 24 hours, only getting up twice to use the facilities) and it was as though I had a cinema reel inside my head - every word played out behind my eyes as I read them.

However, the two greatest things that this series has done for me: it led me to my best friend and led me to writing. 

And inspired me to set an actual goal for myself. Hopefully one day I will be able to create something just as magical.

S is for Sagittarian

I’m not one who follows the Zodiac – in fact, I usually think it’s a lot of hogwash. But my bff sent me this email, which shares seven characteristics of Sagittarians. I laughed at how spookily accurate the following were, pertaining to me:

1. It’s always funny to see how uneasy they can be with compliments/flattery, even though they love it. (yup, me in a nutshell)
2. It’s not that they’re blunt and don’t care, they just say what everyone else is thinking. (My filter is a work-in-progress)
3. They love meeting new people…who think and act like them. (Hahahahaha! I totally do!)
4. You’ll be surprised at how “easily touched” they are. Yes, they are sentimental…sometimes. (Big mouth, small heart – that’s me)
5. Their sarcasm will crack you up, especially when they’re mad. (Don’t say you weren’t warned)
6. They make great sidekicks. They like to have fun and do new shit. (I am THE wingman…winglady…wingperson)
7. To really make them understand something, use logic. They don’t really care about your “emotional revelations”. (It’s not that we don’t care – we just don’t always understand that language)

R is for Reality TV

This is a phenomenon that I just have not embraced. Yes, people might tell me that these shows depict how the world and people are today. And they would be right – the world is a weird place right now, and is getting weirder by the minute.

But we have only ourselves to blame for this because we sanction weird behaviour by watching these shows.

How can we consider physical struggles (sickness, hunger and exhaustion) of a group of people marooned on an island as entertainment, when there are an obscene amount of people in the world who experience these struggles for real every single day?

Who in their right mind would want to televise their quest for love? It is hard enough to find it without an audience. These people are deluding themselves into thinking that they’ve found real love after going through what is essentially a catalogue.

What frightens me most about reality TV is the rapid rate at which it has grown – because we watch it. It’s become normal to throw random people into a house and watch them deteriorate. It’s become normal to publicize people’s dirty laundry. It’s become normal for teenagers to fall pregnant at seventeen. It’s become normal for housewives to beat each other up in front of a camera.

This is the result of reality TV.

Times move on and societal norms and customs do change. But does no one worry about the fact that we have regressed to a point where unacceptable behaviour has become accepted? Does no one worry about the effect it will have on the generations that will come after us?

I feel like the world has now become the forty-floor building from the novel High Rise – and like those people in it, we are racing towards our own decline.

Q is for Quotes

A couple of months ago I was browsing through a store and saw this adorable little notebook with teacups on the cover. Said notebook became the home of my collection of quotes – from books, movies, songs, people. I think the quotes I collect say a lot about me as a person, and for this particular post, I thought I’d share a few of my absolute favourites.

“I want to be the best version of myself for anyone who is going to someday walk into my life and need someone to love them beyond reason.” ~ Jennifer Elisabeth

“I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind.” ~ Patrick Dennis

“Follow the three R’s: Respect for self, Respect for others, Responsibility for all your actions.” ~ Dalai Lama

“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.” ~ Herm Albright

“No one has ever drowned in his own sweat.” ~ Ann Landers

“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.” ~ Ingrid Bergman

“Rudeness is the weak person’s imitation of strength.”

“I melt. And am not of stronger earth than others.” ~ Coriolanus

“I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you. Especially when you are near me as now; it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in a corresponding quarter of your little frame: and if that boisterous channel and two hundred miles or so of land some broad between us, I am afraid that cord of communion will be snapt, and I’ve a nervous notion I should take to bleeding inwardly.” ~ Jane Eyre

“You have witchcraft in your lips, Kate. There is more eloquence in a sugar touch of them, than in the tongues of the French council; and they should sooner persuade Harry of England than a general petition of monarchs.” ~ Henry V

P is for Pilates

November last year I discovered Pilates. I had a very different view as to what this form of exercise was about – I still had images of Julie and Kirsten of the OC, bored California housewives looking for something to do.

And then I met Naz, our trainer, who made me do Pilates in a dress for the first time (I was with my sister that evening, and just went along to observe). The next week, I officially joined.

Naz makes Hitler look like a Backstreet Boy. The hour we spend with her every Tuesday is split into twenty minutes of very high impact aerobics, thirty five minutes of Pilates and five minutes of stretching. We don’t perspire in her class. We sweat like pigs.

I like doing physical things but I hate gym (too boring and monotonous and solitary). And this has been a blessing. We are a small class of about seven ladies, so Naz can focus on each of us. The other ladies are all very cool, and are great at motivating one another.

In addition to being able to see the physical changes on my body, I am sleeping better, have less tension knots in my neck, and have been able to avoid going on meds to help with depression (endorphins are AH-mazing).

I’ve also started a class at school with my kids, incorporating some of the stuff I learn in my own class (trying to pay it forward).

So, get up and go and find a form of exercise that works for you and that you can stick with.

O is for Originality

In 2013, I enrolled into a Journalism class. Two nights a week for four and a half months and copious amounts of writing (I actually miss having writing deadlines, and this challenge has been good for me).

Our first writing assignment was labelled “Originality” and we had to answer fifteen questions about ourselves, so that our lecturer could get to know us better (we were a class of seven people, so this was possible for her to achieve).

The last instruction was for us to tell her some things that we have very strong feelings about. I read through this assignment this evening and although it is now two years later, the following still stand:

“I believe that wisdom does not always come with age. I believe that every major problem we face in the world today is a result of greed, intolerance and lack of accountability. I believe that there can be no love between a man and a woman before marriage. I believe that the breakdown of society is directly linked to the breakdown of families. I believe in speaking and hearing the truth – even if it is bitter. I believe a smile is the best form of charity.”

N is for Nerd Girls

I would like to dedicate this post to the women in my life, the ones I have met recently and the ones I have known almost forever – my best friend, A, my sisters, my mother and my new friends I’ve made via Twitter (Z, K, Deb, Holly, Red, etc.).

This is us, ladies.

I am not going to sit here and spew some unrealistic crap about how looks do not factor into what makes a person hot, because it does.

I will say that tastes vary and attractiveness is subjective (and therefore cannot be STANDARDIZED, LABELLED or STEREOTYPED), and so everyone will have their own idea of what they find hot.

But. Intelligence is ALWAYS sexy. In my own experience, limited though it may be, most men fear intelligence in women. A clever girl will see through all of your bullshit.

But she will also be able to recognise your insecurities, and when this cleverness is coupled with kindness (which you will find it often is) she will never use them against you, she will never play on them – she will work to bring out the best in you, and if you are equally smart, it will lead to her to giving you the best of herself.

So guys, once you overcome your fear, break out of your Paris-Hilton-esque mind-set and are brave enough to venture into our world, you will find us nerd girls surprisingly sexy and romantic. 

M is for Madrassah

The word "madrassah" is an Arabic word that literally translates as "school". For a Muslim, it refers to the Islamic equivalent of Sunday School, where young Muslim children go to learn about their religious history, to learn of the practical applications of Islam (prayer, fasting, charity, pilgrimage) and to read Arabic (thereby enabling them to read the Qur'an).

Of all of my mother's children, I was the child most resistant to this stage of my life. Yes, I went. I learnt how to read Arabic, and I learnt how to pray and fast, but I did not enjoy the experience, and my religious duties were for a very long time a chore to me. We were always warned of the punishment that we would receive if we did not follow our Creator's laws correctly.

At the age of 23, I got to perform my obligatory pilgrimage. It was the most difficult, but the most profoundly beautiful experience of my life, but it also made me realise how poor my basic knowledge of my religion was. A year later, I left my job and enrolled at an institution that offered religious studies for adults. I stayed at this institution for three years and my experience with madrassah this time around was completely different to my experience as a child. I was not only reminded of the correct manner of the various forms of worship, I also learnt why they were important and how they developed over time. I got to know my Creator better and my love for Him and my religion grew.

I didn't enjoy madrassah as a child because my teachers did not instil a love for Islam in me.

I still do not follow my religion perfectly. No one can because we are human, and therefore imperfect. 

But whatever I do now I do happily and willingly, from a place of understanding and love.

L is for Letters

During the eleventh grade at high school, a group of my girlfriends and I received a naughty letter as a joke from a group of our male friends. This became a competition to see who could scandalize the other more…and ultimately led me to my first boyfriend experience.

Said boyfriend and I were together for thirteen months. During that time, he used to write me letters when he was in English (he had an arse-numbingly boring teacher) which he used to slip to me during intervals (we were not in the same class).

I kept these in a special box, which still smelled like him four years after we broke up.

I love receiving letters – not email (although I don’t mind these when they’re personalised messages instead of chain mail) but hand-written ones. There is just something about it – the smell and texture of the paper, the handwriting of the writer, colours and types of ink…these things can tell you so much about the writer, and what they think of the person they're writing to.

Mostly though, I love them, because a hand-written letter says to me that someone finds me worthy of their time and effort.

K is for Keats

I was flipping through the movie channels one afternoon and came across a movie called “Bright Star”. For those of you who do not know (like me), Bright Star is the title of a poem written by John Keats. I happened upon this movie somewhere towards the end, but I do know that it documents his life and, more importantly, his relationship with Fanny Brawne, the inspiration for Bright Star.

We read some of his poems at school (Ode to a Nightingale and Ode on a Grecian Urn comes to mind here) but beyond that, I have no other knowledge of him. But the character of Keats was so beautifully portrayed by Ben Whishaw (I mean, I was completely convinced of his love for Fanny, despite the fact that Mr Whishaw is not attracted to girls) and it led me to do a little bit of research on the poet.

I was amazed to discover that he studied medicine and had received his apothecary’s licence, which allowed him to practice as an apothecary, surgeon and physician. He left the medical field because it interfered with his writing (brave chap) and composed a number of poems and wrote many letters.

Unsurprisingly, I am more drawn to his letters, than his poems. “They glitter with humour and critical intelligence. Born of an ‘unself-conscious stream of consciousness,’ they are impulsive, full of awareness of his own nature and his weak spots.” The romantic that I am is naturally drawn to the letters he wrote to Fanny. Reading them showed me how powerful words can be and inspired courage in me, who, as a fledgling writer, is extremely self-conscious and afraid still to display her weak spots.

Sadly, he did not linger long in this world. But for me, John Keats is the perfect embodiment of the following words from Virginia Woolf:

“Every secret of a writer’s soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind, is written large in his works.”