Monday 31 March 2014

Confidence of Youth

I've been trying to reconcile two parts of myself lately...the fun, confident, exuberant teenager of fourteen years ago with the adult woman of today...but it got me thinking: which parts of my teenage self do I want to resurrect?

Some things I am really grateful for now: I am a LOT more tactful than I was at seventeen; I am no longer skittish around education and actually find myself fully embracing new learning opportunities; I take a lot more pride in the things that I do...
These are all things, essential things, that I lacked as a teenager and yes, I suppose all or most teens are like that and I shouldn't feel like I was the only miserable and lazy adolescent. But I was constantly reminded and berated for those 'normal' shortcomings and found that when I hit my twenties, I could no longer bury my head in the sand and be oblivious to these things. I needed to make a change.

But in all of the changing, I lost some good bits as well. And the thing I miss the most is the confidence I had back then. I wish I could combine the confidence of my youth with the wisdom (I hope) and maturity (I fervently hope) of my 31 year old self.
I'd be unstoppable.

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