“You don’t have to be part of a couple to be happy, you know.”

My mother is undoubtedly one of my biggest blessings. We are the products of an Indian father and Cape Malay mother; but she raised us according to values and ethics of our religion, and not either of the cultural norms of either Indian or Cape Malay society. She relentlessly encouraged us to seek knowledge, to embrace our heritage and discard culture when it contravened faith, but to always be respectful and tolerant of those who lived unwaveringly by it. The society I was born into has a tendency to confuse cultural practices with religious law – and I am eternally grateful to my mother for always reminding us to separate the two.

One cultural ‘ideal’ that I am uncomfortable with is the ‘duty’ of a young woman to marry at a certain point in her life. Women are measured by their marital status, and are somehow considered lacking or incomplete when they are found to be unattached.

I am a Muslim. I may not always succeed at performing my religious duties perfectly, but I always try – it is a lifelong journey – and I am in complete agreement with the importance that Islamic Law places on the institution of marriage. It is a most sacred and, for those who are fortunate enough to have a partner in life and who put in the work, a most beautiful state.

However. I am an educated woman. I make an honest living and contribute positively to my family and society. I am a dutiful daughter to my parents, a supportive and loving sister to my ten siblings and a firm yet fun aunt to twenty one. I have no criminal record, I don’t drink or do drugs and I am not promiscuous. I have the ability and skill to excel at almost anything I attempt.

And what annoys me to no end is that when people look at me, all they see is that I am the only one of my siblings still single.

Happiness comes in many forms.

I am healthy. I am loved – not by many, but unconditionally by some. I am able to work and I am able to enjoy life. I live in safety, and with the freedom to conduct my life as it suits me.

I am blessed. And regardless of my single status, I am happy.