A-Z Blogger Challenge 2016 - Better Half?

How often do we hear people refer to their significant others as “my better half”? It’s an expression many are quite fond of. Initially, this used to irritate me because it’s so cheesy, especially when done over social media, as is the norm today (ugh, can we please get over sharing every detail of our relationships with everybody).

However, petulance aside, when I really think about the phrase ‘better half’ two things come to mind: low self-esteem and danger.

It is wise to be aware of one’s own short-comings and quirks, and it is always good to have an awareness and sincere appreciation for the good in others. But it is necessary to also be aware of one’s own light, one’s own capacity for goodness, and the humanness of others. It is a very bad idea to compare yourself to others, particularly to the person you are supposed to love above everyone else.

There are, in my opinion, few things more dangerous than elevating someone to the mythical state of perfection, only to find out that they have clay feet like the rest of humanity. I don’t think any relationship can survive that level of disappointment.

I am surrounded by couples – all of my siblings are married, most of my friends are too. I have seen marriages that look good in theory, fail; I have seen couples who should, by societal expectation and ‘standards’, be compatible, and yet are unable to find common ground.

And then I’ve seen the most unlikely pairings succeed beyond expectation.

Two very good friends of mine have been married now for nine years. I was sick with anxiety when they first started dating, because of certain circumstances and because they were such different people.

I was terribly naïve, and for a long time I thought the one was better than the other one. But as the years went on, I saw two opposites complement each other in the best way. Despite the challenges that they face as husband and wife, as father and mother, they're happy. And they love each other so much, it is clear for all to see (in a non-sickening kind of way, thank goodness).

I saw them both forgive and cover the other’s flaws, and support each other in a way that not only strengthened their union, but made them grow as individuals into the epitome of what should be the foundation of all relationships:

The dictionary defines complementary as “combining in such a way as to enhance or emphasize the qualities of each other or another”. I quite like this explanation and it sums up what I’ve seen from successful marriages.

But I think the best partnerships are the ones who are made up of two wholes, instead of two halves.