Term 1 - Post Mortem

Tomorrow is the end of the first school term and to say that it has been extremely busy would be an understatement.
I am sitting here and wondering how I managed my life for the last 3 months...

I've been thinking a lot about my childhood and teenage years.
I really miss being a kid. Your biggest concern when you're a child is passing your exams and staying out of trouble.

And since I left school, life has just become increasingly complicated. Every year for the past 13 years, something has gone wrong or skew in my life, be it to a large or lesser degree. And there comes a moment after a trial, when you breathe a sigh of relief and you think to yourself, "the worst is over, nothing can be worse than this".
And something bad hits you soon after.

Where work is concerned, I feel like I'm coming to the end of a 3 month sprint. My working year started off with some major adjustments, and me being me, I am constantly in fear of making catastrophic mistakes. One of my superiors made me feel very appreciated though, as he thanked me for taking on my new responsibilities and executing them 'with aplomb'. However, no matter how well I do my work, I am always going to need little validations like that.

Personally, I feel like I've been through a bit of a car wreck. And no, it has nothing to do with this gentleman that I like... For the first time in a long time, it is as a result of conflict between my siblings.
My family has been my pillar of strength and solace throughout my entire life.
But things have happened and were said (things that cannot un-happen or be unsaid). They were difficult things and in some cases hurtful things. And while they were necessary, and have resulted in some much needed changes, I am fearful that we might not be able to recover from it.

My body, mind and soul is in serious need of soothing...I don't know whether 10 days will be enough.

Hart of Dixie

My sister has recently got me hooked on Hart of Dixie.
I've had season 1 for a while and never got round to watching it. My brother-in-law has been getting us updates on season 2 and so far we have twelve episodes.

Maybe its a good thing I waited so long to start watching it (well, wait is actually wrong, I just didn't have the time) because as soon as I started, I couldn't stop. I think I watched the whole first season in 2 nights.

And...fell completely in love with Wade Kinsella and even more in love with the idea of Wade and Zoe as a couple. The chemistry between the two of them virtually leaped off the screen since episode 1.
I screamed a resounding 'YES' with a fist pump and jumping on my bed when they eventually gave in to their attraction at the end of season 1.

And now...after episode 16, my heart is broken. Completely shattered.
Because my fantasy couple has broken up.

I fervently hope that the writers and producers engineers a reconciliation soon.

one of the most difficult things to take

One thing I do not know how to do, is take a compliment on my looks. It probably stems from being a tomboy my whole life that boys saw me as one of them, rather than someone they could possibly admire. And no, I am not fishing for compliments. I am comfortable enough with myself now, and can confidently say that although I will always try to improve myself, I have embraced my 'pros and cons'.

But it is always a surprise to me when someone finds me attractive and comments on it.
This morning on my walk to the bus terminus, a gentleman was talking to a cab driver through his window. He noticed me when I was probably about 5 meters away from him (or thereabouts) and as I was about to pass him, he said 'good morning'. I greeted back and moved past him, only to hear him say to the driver, "Gorgeous, hey?"

Me being me, I burst out laughing.

Emo Adams at Oude Libertas

"Multi-talented crooning comedian"

I was thinking of an appropriate description of Emo and I came across the above four words on a website and thought, 'Damn, but that's exactly what he is!'

I have never been to a live music show before (and here, I exclude school productions). I don't generally like what I hear of the happenings at concerts and I try to stay away from them as a rule. So I do not profess to be an expert on entertainment of this nature.
But I do know what I like.
I like to laugh, I like unpretentious people and I like when someone has the ability to give you goosebumps when they sing.

Oude Libertas is one of the wine estates in Stellenbosch. Lush and green and surprisingly, when I got out of the car, I wasn't overwhelmed by the smell of alcohol (which I admit I was expecting).
The Amphitheatre is small and intimate and was beautifully lit by red, blue and white spot lights.
It was slightly chilly but being in the open air allowed you to breathe in the aroma of the dew on the grass, cuddle under a blanket with your loved one and  occasionally look up at thousands of twinkling stars against a midnight canvas.

My first introduction to Emo Adams was through watching the old Jou Show met Emo. Never did an episode pass where I did not laugh myself into a stupor, so I always expect him to deliver on the comedy front. He did not disappoint.
His humour springs from his childhood and the events, places and people that coloured it for him. Although some of his jokes are known, he manages to surprise you with something new. I almost fell off my seat when he asked an audience member to smell his neighbour's hands after a loo break.
And I left the amphitheatre thinking to myself 'I hope I don't fall into the sturvy girl category coz I don't dance like that'. One thing is certain, the man can dance. And he almost took some people's eyes out with his Michael Jackson-like crotch thrusting.

Emo is second to none when it comes to impressions. I still can still hear him singing Unforgettable in Nat King Cole's voice and Americanising volksliedjies.
But then he sings a Boys to Men song in his own voice and it hits you - Emo Adams has a magnificent singing voice! Its quite sexy. And the fact that he doesn't suddenly switch to an American accent when he sings adds to the sexiness

I have to make a big mention of Take Note - the little interlude, or 'sound check' as Shaun called it, was so cool and just set the mood for the rest of the evening.

I laughed, I sang.

Multi-talented crooning comedian you definitely are.

I was thoroughly entertained.

I can't wait for your next one!

My favourite fictitious couple - take 2

I finally made some time to catch up on some TV. My sisters have been nagging me to watch Hart of Dixie and I've found another couple I absolutely love.

What is is about opposites that attract and make the most delicious love stories??

How do you keep yourself from hoping?

So right after I appraised my 'special friend' of my feelings for him, I prepared myself for the worst.
I'm happy I did it, because regardless of his decision, I am going to get either confirmation or closure...and honestly, either is acceptable because it will make it easier for me to move along without regrets.

A week went by after that evening with no word from him, and I interpreted his silence as a 'no'. I had actually started...mourning (for lack of a better word).

And then, one evening after I had completed my evening prayers, I saw a message on my phone. The only person that sends me messages via Whatsapp that time of the evening is one of my colleagues, so you can imagine my surprise to see his name. The message read something like this...

"I am really sorry for replying now only, but I had to really think before replying. I am still thinking how to answer on your sweet message, so please give me a little time to respond. Hope you understand, my life has been very up and down but we'll chat soon.."

Very diplomatic, very honest (which I appreciate).
My only problem is my overly optimistic nature.
How do I keep myself from hoping for too much, for hoping for anything really?

2013 starting off with a bang

So much has been going on the last few months it feels as if my head is swimming. From family drama, to new work duties, abusive people and matters of the heart.

Family drama will stay in the family. What I will say is this: Sometimes I wonder if some people will ever grow up...

A colleague of mine was re-deployed to another institution and as a result, I have had to step in to take on some of her duties. This is both a good and bad thing for me - good, because I am now putting my university education to practical use (yes, for the first time) and bad because it is soooo much work!

The school I work for is having a fund-raising carnival this year. In less than two weeks, in fact. And I have been roped onto the organizing committee. I've been getting quotes for security and sanitation, organizing radio time for my principal, but my main responsibility now is selling novelty and food stall to business people. This has been somewhat of a nightmare. I am organized but one skill I am yet to learn is how to deal with abusive people. I have to consciously remind myself not to scold or swear.

And...just this weekend past, I made the courageous (or stupid) decision to let someone know how I feel about him. Okay, so I was too chicken to meet him or call and used print to do it, but I did.
And we'll let the chips fall where they may.

I'm exhausted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I forgot to mention that in addition to all of the above craziness, I enrolled for a Journalism course.
Lots of writing, lots of deadlines. Jean (our lecturer) looks like a sweet lady...but she is quite the
task master! Still, am LOVING it and in just two weeks, I can already notice a difference in my writing.

The Dark Knight Rises

 

So....I've been indulging myself. I spent last Saturday and Sunday evening catching up on movies that I've missed, and also some of my very old favourites.
A real surprise was the new Batman movie.
Now, I love my action movies (especially the ones based on the classic comic books). But when Christian Bale got the part of Batman, I was a little skeptical. And I think I'm only of the only people in the world who did not watch The Dark Knight (I loved Heath Ledger, but he freaked me out and I just never watched it).

But.

The Dark Knight Rises was....simply awesome.
For a few reasons.

1. The support cast was amazing. Bane was freaky, Fox was his usual cool self :)), Alfred was his usual dry self :))). Really really excellent supporting cast.

2. Catwoman. Now, Michelle Pheiffer is a legend. No one can emulate her as Catwoman.
But I have to say, Anne Hathaway did an AMAZING job in transforming into Catwoman. And I love that she didn't try and be like Michelle Pheiffer. She totally made the character new and fresh and KICK-ASS.
And while the chemistry between Christian and Marion was sizzling, I actually liked the banter between Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle...and the fact that she can kick his ass :)

Seline Kyle - Catwoman

3. The man himself. Like I said, I wasn't really a huge fan of his (and not because of his acting ability because I happen to think he's an amazing actor-I just think he has too much emotional shit in real life and takes his work waayyyy too seriously). But this movie converted me. Damn, but he is fine.













4. And last but definitely NOT least....

HUBBA HUBBBAAAA!!!!

Breaking Dawn Part 2 - Part 2 (?)

Let me first say, to my bestie and my baby sis, THANK YOU for going with me to watch it.
I was in a really bad space and was in desperate need of a girls' day.

Breaking Dawn Part 2 was AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG, I was lauging, and biting my nails, and gasping, and wanting to cry.....
I went through every emotion that I felt the very first time I watched Twilight.
I was excited when the movie started, to see Bella have vampire vision for the first time, and when Emmett arm-wrestled her and lost, and when she was learning to use her shield.
I wanted to cheer loudly when Edward ripped her clothing off in their new bedroom.
I laughed when Bella scolded and attacked Jacob for imprinting on Renesmee.
I was anxious when Irina went to the Volturi and the Cullens started their training.
I almost died when I saw that epic battle scene and Jasper and Carlisle dying (!!!).

And I melted, was excited, fell in love (all at once) when Bella retracted her shield to allow Edward to read her mind.

It was....the perfect ending.

Being grown up is hard

I feel like someone who's been submerged in the ocean for a very long time and has just come up for her first breath of air. But the waves are still coming and somehow, the breath I just took doesn't seem like it is enough to sustain me till I somehow get to shore.

Some of our older learners at school will sometimes come and sit in my classroom during one of the intervals, or when their teachers are not at school and I have a free period. They'll come and chat about their lives, the things that happen at school...and as most teenagers do, 90% of what they talk to me about are complaints.
Some days I tolerate it, well, most days. I was a teenager once, and I know that things can seem much bigger than they really are in the mind of an adolescent.

But some days, like the whole of this week, I feel like smacking them. Because they don't realise how easy life is for you when you're young.
Obviously, I do not mean those who find themselves in extremely trying situations...I mean, we have some kids who has alcoholic parents, parents who do drugs in front of them, kids with health problems...the list goes on. And some of these that I've just mentioned, have to, at 12 and 13 years old, be the adults in their families. So, yeah, I get that people sometimes have really hectic problems.

But most of these kids are just so spoiled, and bitch and moan about some of the most unbelievable stupid shit. And I think to myself, 'you little brats don't know what you're in for'. Because life gets so much harder when you grow older.

My sister once told me that we should live our lives with no regrets...not even of the things that we've done wrong in our lives...because then we would be doubting God's plan for us. And I whole-heartedly agree.

But sometimes I wish we didn't have to grow up.